Lessons In Forgiveness....

Sunday I met a book that told me something I had been trying to get unsuccessfully...I wanted to share it with you...

"The Twelve Steps to Forgiveness" by Paul Ferrini
STEP TWO: Understand That It Is Love You Want.

I think that I want more money, or more sex, or more recognition, or better health, but it's love I really want. All I really want, my friend, is for you to love me. If I was sure of your love, the rest would be okay. Somehow, I would find a way to accept the rest and work with it.
Those of us who have looked for perfection have had to learn the hard way it just does not exist. Other people are not here to make us happy. They are here to help us learn. Beneath this dimly remembered goal there is the memory of a love that binds us all.
We are here to love and to learn. We are not here to force learning or loving, but to let each lead naturally to the other. When one is present, the other is as well.
So life doesn't always go my way. Sometimes I want you to please me and you are in my life to help me wake up. You are here to help me learn to take responsibility. We do this dance where I keep trying to get you to give me what I want and you keep dancing away. I begin to think that you don't love me. I begin to resent you. I feel angry because I think you intentionally refuse to meet my needs. But you are not here to meet my needs. You are here to show me my needs so I can learn to meet them myself.
This is your purpose and when you fulfill it, you set us both free. You know, I think I want you to meet my needs, but that's not really true. I want you to meet your needs. I want you to be happy. I just need to know that if you move away from me, you're not rejecting me. I just need to know that you love me.
When I know that, I don't want to stand in your way. In fact, I'll open the door and wish you well. I don't want to be the person who keeps you against your will. And I don't want to be kept against mine.
I know that we are free to choose. I just need to know that, whatever choice you make, you still love me. - excerpt