I had a rough weekend on the heels of a rough week. I spent it balled up in pain most of the time trying to make the headaches go away. This week ahead is catch-up week for me, but it is almost all over. I mailed out a box this Friday to my son. I sent my love and prayers with it. It carries a video cassette with me reading him stories, and pictures of his brother from last Christmas. I might not see my son this Christmas, and if I don't I probably won't see him until Christmas 2005 when I graduate...Saturday night I fought my headache and had game night with friends, and then while driving home I called her, and told her I love her, and I miss her. This time I did not cry, at least not out loud, and only a little inside.
These are the things going round in my head tonight, as I try to get ready to face the week. I held my son that home with me close this evening, because I realised while watching the old video tapes that I spend an awful lot time pushing them away. I long to have my family back together, my sons, and me, Mr. Bobby, the fish and maybe, by some twist fate, I would get to have her too, and it would all be ok.
This is my prayer tonight God - calling out into the night. Thank you for always listening. Maybe this time my wish for me is good enough for me.
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