"Backward turn backward, O Time, in it's flight, and make me a child again just for tonight." Elizabeth Akers Allen [poem - "Rock Me to Sleep, Mother, Rock Me to Sleep"]
Yesterday was eventful...but then again, my life tends to be so. Theories have been floated as to why, but I ... hell, I ignore 'em. It's life. C'est la vie.
My truck "pobresita phyllis" is on her last gasping breath. Lately I have poured money into her, more than people would say she is worth... but how do you measure worth. She has carried my babies and me safely too and from a million places, and took me on my first pilgrimage to Ft. Lauderdale to see the other have of friendship's soul, my Marchelle, and helped to move Barbara, Marva, Carlene, Francine and so many others, and done groceries, and art supply runs, and oh so many trips to the sea, faithfully. I only began having major problems around the beginning of this year with her. We have shared the good miles, and she has been there for my tears when long drives under the night sky is all that could heal me.
Yesterday she was baring my soul to sea, with my son... so I could heal, and her staring column separated on me, but as always she made sure she held on till it was safe for me. We ended the trip in the parking lot of LOWES on Ulmerton Road, on the way to Indian Rocks Beach. I love my truck, she and I have so many stories together. I once dreamed that she would last long enough for my boys to be grown and fix her and drive her around like they used to do late at night in the empty USF parking lots, there fat little legs dangling from mommy's, and little hands turning her big steering wheel.
Our one of my other favorite memories: When she let Zita Raras Tesa drive for the first time. Tesa was born with deformed legs and she has to walk with calipers. She is the beautiful, wise, little woman, who didn't get a chance to drive ever. Pobresita Phyllis and I changed that one night, and it was wonderful to watch her smile, and laugh, and do something she had never done before.
Lately she would take me to where my love my was, on winged wheels, to where my heart lay beating. Yesterday, my heart missed several beats, and lay gasping with my truck. The one I love more than the breath I breathe must of needs be only my friend. My heart has since resumed beating, but only at half the former pace, and only half the time. It longs so to lie in her arms, and forget for awhile it's yesterday.
And today I sit and write, and long to be "a child again just for tonight." and lie curled in father's arms, where just for that moment, everything would be alright again.
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